Toilet Talk

A Devastating Sneak Attack

The Assault

Today started out like any other morning. We rose, as always, with joy in our heart and pep in our step. We anticipated a delightful day. Who would have guessed that within a few short hours we would be subjected to no less than a full-on devastating assault.

Our morning continued on without incident. Well, actually, perhaps there were some signs that this was no ordinary day. When we stepped into the shower, we noticed a significantly decreased amount of water pressure. Also, the pipes let out a most unpleasant sound. We didn’t give it more than a moments notice though because Scamper always maintains a sunny disposition. Our trainer arrived and we headed to the gym. Oddly, the gym was empty. No one could really be too upset about having free reign over the whole gym, so we forged on with our exercises. Back to the abode for a little news and some sprucing up, and we were off to meet the ladies for lunch. Of course we showed up in a timely fashion because we are nothing if not consistently courteous. The other ladies had yet to arrive as we were seated, so we requested a menu. It’s always nice to have an idea as to what you’d like to order ahead of time so as not to disturb conversation unduly. We decided on a delicious chicken salad. We were all set. The girls arrived and our server appeared. That was when it happened. As Candy, oh yeah, we caught her name, lifted the menus to hand the girls, we were exposed to something so grotesque that no eye should ever have gazed upon it. We were face to face with none other than, the infamous camel toe.

Those Lycra pants didn’t stand a chance. They had been sucked up into a vaginal vortex. Suffice it to say we saw Candy’s world. Our jaw was slack but no one else seemed to notice. Suddenly, one of the ladies gave us a poke to get us to order. The words that came out probably shouldn’t have been a surprise. Clams casino. Good lord! We don’t even eat clams. Our focus and our appetite had clearly left the building. When Candy returned, there it was again, but this time, we involuntarily took a deep breath in through our nostrils and that was a big mistake because this candy was no sweet treat. It seems as though miss Candy was having a bought of vaginitis too. Fabulous!!

Fortunately, the meal wrapped up quickly after that. On our way out we checked with the other ladies to hear their thoughts. Not one of them noticed a thing.
Not only was the delightful Scamper assaulted, but it had been a sneak attack!
What a day.

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The Scamper

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