Confused Californians

Bless Their Hearts

Scamper has spent quality time all around our great nation and we have encountered the best that America has to offer in each and every state.

In all honesty, we always found the Los Angeles area to be somewhat trying.

We are going to take the rather unusual tact of preempting today’s commentary by acknowledging the circumstances that may have influenced our atypically unvarnished critique of LA’s Liberal Lovelies and their sycophantic enablers.

We experienced both the Rodney King and the OJ Simpson episodes in LA.

Riots broke out on each fun filled occasion, only social media was a little less sophisticated then.

Neither incident was anything more than a disturbing display of self-destructive behavior by out of control hoodlums.

We were exceptionally young and had no comprehension of either situation as a racially historic moment.

We knew virtually nothing of Rodney King. He appeared to be some sort of criminal hopped up on PCP with whom the police had an adversarial encounter.

A trial ensued. The 4 police officers, who apparently resorted to some rather forceful measures to subdue him were acquitted.

The entire city went wild. The radio announcers incited panic throughout Beverly Hills.

It seems that they made an inadvertent mistake.

The rioters were committing horrific acts of violence and vandalism all along Rodeo Drive in South Central, LA.

Perhaps by mistake, perhaps less innocently, an announcement was made that the violent gangs were heading up Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills.

The street names are pronounced differently but someone didn’t do their homework.

If you think for one second that any of those liberal Lucy’s of today were blathering on incoherently about their inability to see color or hanging out in the cobble stoned travel ways of Beverly Hills with pithy little slogans on billboards or sassy camera ready stances, you had better think again.

We were all rushed home and told to draw the curtains and leave the lights off. Everyone we knew complied.

More than a few of the people who hunkered down with us are the very same liberal loud mouths who would condemn you for behaving that way today.

We also happened to be there for that nasty 6.7 NorthRidge earthquake. That was scary. You didn’t hear Hollywood piping up about that either. Did you?

Did you hear any tearful soliloquies about global warming?

You most certainly did not and if you say you did you’re a liar.

Not a one of our progressive proponents was taking to those valiant yet somewhat contrived poses of defiance in the face of Mother Nature.

When exactly, did the generally conspicuously uneducated creatures of the Hollywood glitterati become our Geo-political intelligentsia?

For all of that histrionic caterwauling about giving to the victims of Harvey and Irma, how many of the off puttingly ignorant celebrities event pretended to take a moment of self-reflection prior to espousing some nauseatingly saccharine epiphany that success had blessed them with?

Here’s an ugly truth.

Hurricane Harvey was hideous. It wiped people out and ruined lives. So did Irma.

The news has been focused on the maudlin tales of the Florida keys and the flamboyant generosity of those angelic bringers of light from the west coast. (In case you missed that little quip, you might want to google bringer of light) Those stories are just brimming with emotional impact, sadly, there’s only so much empathy to go around in LA LA land.

After fleeing our home for a more northern local, we ended up confined to a room in Disney World with a couple bottles of water, two super soggy, costly sandwiches and a few extra rolls of toilet paper that required a humiliating song and dance to procure.

When we were finally allowed to return to our southern domicile, we were overjoyed.

Then we experienced the politically irrelevant realities of life.

Since Hillary so egregiously exploited the woman card, she exposed the rest of us to unreasonable scrutiny. Our routine inquiries were dismissed as symptoms of a neurotic hormonal outburst.

For example, our homestead initially looked untouched by the foul and infectious tendrils of Irma.

Ha! Good one.

We then felt inexplicably warm shorty after arrival and sought out a pair of shorts. As we approached the drawers, we were taken aback by the unpleasant combination of a squishing sound and a cold wet sensation about our feet.

Needless to say, we were displeased.

Given that this particular residence is one of the favorite haunts of the LA lovelies, we didn’t fret. We endured one dismissive standup routine after another about our delicate sense of smell and our hypersensitivity.

Obviously, all was well and we were overwrought.

We aren’t too proud to admit that after a week of Hillary’s utterly merit-less ‘It shoulda been me’ tour, we were feeling emboldened.

We demanded further inspection. When we discovered that our walls and floors were ruined, we stuck it out through loud and intrusive drying efforts.

We made our best attempts to ignore the two visits into our home whilst we were sleeping by the untold numbers of male workers.

Finally, last night, we lost all power and water, to say nothing of the thermostat registering an intolerable 88 degrees, and this morning we bailed.

Thankfully, Mother Scamper was gracious enough to offer us a temporary retreat.

Unfortunately, their home was in the midst of seasonal renovations and we were identified as “a stranger in the house.”

We would never even consider expressing our discomfort because we were so incredibly relieved to have been offered refuge.

Fabulous and Hubby invited us over too but impositions must be reserved for the most desperate of occasions.

Here’s the thing that sticks in our craw. Any one of these liberal California blowhards is willing to take to the stage whenever there’s a PR opportunity.

They take great pride in blabbering on incoherently with no justification for their perpetual outrage.

Now is the time that they demand to be recognized as a sanctuary state. They refuse to disparage the character of any criminal that they have felt the need to detain, with the possible exception of murderers.

They will entertain no discussions of lawful citizenship, thank you very much.

All people are equally entitled to the benefits of citizenship once they have entered our borders.

P.S. That means that anyone of those blessed beings that was swooped across the border through no fault of their own should be recognized as a priority.

Those sweet little dumplings offer goodness and light to the rather ethically sullied natural born citizens of the United States.

God love them.

So, to be perfectly clear for all of the second rate, stingy, homeland born babies, you are not special.

Your claim to citizenship has no real value.

Dreamers have spoken. They are demanding their due.

They will vote and they will guarantee that their sizable constituency rejects any political candidate with the cojones to dismiss them.

Just ask Nancy Pelosi.

We had considered her one of the dreamers’ most ardent proponents. Imagine our surprise when those delightful little cherubs nearly took her apart limb by limb.

That formerly saucy septuagenarian split for safety quicker than you can say salsa. Okay, yeah, that was rude but we’re ticked.

At what point in our history did the plight of immigrants seeking refuge take precedence over the immediate needs of citizens?

Has there been a significant shift in how we as a country have decided the value of citizenship? If so, fine. We would simply ask that we all read from the same page because at this point the level of hostility is becoming problematic. The white nationalists have no business here. Nor do these disgusting masked animals who destroy everything in their paths because they’re having a bad day.

We have had enough of it.

We are tired of the senseless acrimony.

You democrats need to corral HRC.

Her veiled threats of a coup devalue your entire party.

Really? She would still consider challenging the election and assuming the office of the president?

We didn’t love her before but that shady lady’s gone rogue.

Truth be told, the country remains so divided that like it or not, the president’s bipartisan interactions have provided the first hope of a functioning government in years.

We’ve got some really tough issues to resolve. Both sides will have to make concessions.

Fine. We can live with that.

What we can no longer tolerate is this obscene media coverage of uncivilized barbarians who revel in destruction.

For those of us who are attempting to cope with the inevitable destruction imposed upon us by nature, any validation of these disreputable heathens is a sickening misuse of the power provided to the press.

You people continuously grouse about your diminishing role. You seem to be astounded by the negligible political clout that you currently enjoy.

How about this?

Quit acting like a pack of rabid varmints feeding out of every befouled can of waste.

‘Cause here’s the shocker. The American public is not comprised of a needy and naive group of baby birds feeding off of your regurgitated garbage.

We are sick of you and we are fed up with your toxic political machinations.

We do not want to entertain Hillary Clinton’s delusional banter anymore. It’s unhealthy for her and for the country. Have a modicum of decency and encourage the poor thing to retreat gracefully into that good night.

We are not the least bit interested in your personal ethics or value systems. Don’t espouse them and don’t even bother to share them. You have been mislead. We don’t care.

And for God’s sake, stop encouraging these celebrity halfwits. California cannot secede. It’s an idiotic threat from a ego-maniacal governor with delusions of grandeur.

Frankly, the overt attempts to assert his authority by arranging his own diplomatic rendezvous with the government of China, among others, were utterly disgraceful.

All of this nonsensical lollygagging about California representing 1/6 of the global economy doesn’t deserve to be entertained. It’s absurd.

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The Scamper

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