Politics

D.C. ‘s Dirty Little Secrets

Donald J Trump - The Scamper

Grab yourself a Krispy Kreme and a cup of coffee. This is the kind of information that you’ll want to luxuriate over

Thousands of service members lives are shockingly now in jeopardy

Oh, Anderson Cooper, you saucy little minx, you know that isn’t quite true, don’t you?

We let Rachel off the hook because we recognize that abject hysteria is her go to place whenever there’s a subject that personally offends her.

The left has been telling some tall tales.

President Trump tweeted that transgender folks may not participate in the armed services if they are pre- op.

The Dems are losing their minds over this one. The word of choice is disgusting.

Take a bite of that donut and chew over this for a second.

How many transgender service members do you think are actively engaged in the armed forces?

Thousands? Doubtful.

Probably about .2%.

The numbers are totally inconsistent but the Dems with an agenda are bulking them up like the fat guy who scarfs up those Krispy Kremes by the dozen every morning.

Sorry, did we say Dems with an agenda? Redundant.

We’ll grant the sensitive Sallys that the president’s tweet could have been worded more delicately but let’s be rational. Men who are in the midst of a strike zone probably don’t need the distraction of showering with a guy with a vagina every morning. Yeah, yeah, to each his own. We get it. No problem. Just not on the battle field.

Never mind the indisputable fact that men and women do not share the same physical strength. In the case of a rare exception in which a person born with two X chromosomes can meet the physical requirements for one of those people with an X and a Y, have at it. The military will surely be happy to have you. Although, they may be inclined to study you first.

Oh dear, that probably came across as sexist.

Let’s just knock it off already.

If you are a transgender person, good for you. That’s great. Find your bliss.

Once you have made the transition to your preferred gender, the armed services will welcome you with open arms. Until then, you have a lot to contend with and distraction on the field cannot be tolerated.

Is that really a shocker?

Obama slipped that nationalized healthcare business under the radar and the GOP will have to deal with it but come on now. This is a ridiculous fight. Sorry children, coping with something as difficult as feeling that you were born in the wrong body is a tad more disqualifying than being too short. Little guys don’t get to serve either.

Deal with it.

Want to know why California is so up in arms about dismantling Obamacare?

It’s because in combination with New York and Massachusetts, they hog up 40% of the funding. Floating all of those illegal immigrants is costly, my pretties.

Between the talk of repeal and replace and the military business, California is threatening to secede again. To which we can only say, bye bye Miss American pie. Don’t let the door hit you where the good lord split you.

Too bad it’ll never happen. That would have been enjoyable.

And now for the sweet combo platter of goodness

If you like dunkin’ your donuts, get ready to double dip, ’cause here comes the crazy.

Anthony Scaramucci got right down to business, as promised. One of those unscrupulous leakers has already been dismissed.

That’s not all though.

It seems as if Mr. Scaramucci came upon a startling discovery.

It’s beginning to look like senior members of the White House staff were bullying their subordinates into leaking under threat of job loss.

We don’t know yet if the culprits are Obama hold overs or disgruntled republicans but you can be certain that the Mooch is on it.

On top of that, guess who’s back in the news.

That crusty cruller, Debbie Wasserman Schultz.

Apparently Little Debbie has been up to no good and the senate investigation committee wants to see her.

Delicious. 

Ms. Wasserman Schultz has made a point of keeping an odd fellow in her employ until just this week.

Imran Awan and various members of his family performed IT services for about 25 house democrats starting in 2004. Since then they’ve racked up a reportedly, cool $4-5 million. Imran has filed for bankruptcy and the family has done the skippity doo back to… chew and swallow… Pakistan.

Imran was hanging out in the U.S., presumably because Little Debbie kept him on the pay roll, which is particularly strange since he lost his credentials for accessing any DNC computers some time ago due to charges of bank fraud.

He was arrested on Tuesday as he tried to make a break for it on a plane back to… you guessed it, Pakistan. At that time, Debbie decided to let him go.

Wait… it gets weirder. Apparently, Imran had a host of hammer smashed DNC computers at his place.

Why would that be?

Better yet, dumb Debbie was caught on tape, threatening a police person over the return of her computer.

If she doesn’t get that thing back pronto, someone can expect consequences. After all, she’s a very important congress woman.

This saga has only just begun but you can count on the fact that it will be juicier than an orange in no time flat.

Enjoy what’s left of your coffee and donut. There will be more to come tomorrow.

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