Break out your brandy, boys and girls because this is the kind of crazy business that will require a luxurious libation.
In lieu of holiday caroling the disoriented Dems would like to offer up a home styled helping of whine and dine.
If you made the unfortunate mistake of checking in on the news during dinner, you know exactly what we mean.
One after another, high living democratic politicians clucked their tongues and said that republicans were stealing Tiny Tim’s crutches.
Forget about the season to be jolly. According to Petulant Pelosi, it’s Armageddon.
The new tax reform bill displeased the dainty Dems. The harrowing cries of impending doom were relentless.
Heaven forbid that 80 -90% of Americans will actually be entitled to control a little bit more of their own money. Do those dummies not realize that the Democratic Party is far more qualified to appropriate their funds?
The Dems are fuming and they are seeking retribution.
The Puerto Rican Governor has literally vowed revenge.
Nancy has been trying to drum up a more fervent form of resistance.
If she doesn’t see amnesty for dreamers, she will shut the government down.
Congress needs to either agree to a new budget by Friday or delay budget talks until the new year. Pelosi is peeved and petty though. She is perfectly willing to cause major Christmas inconvenience for everyone if she doesn’t get her way. Then she plans to blame it on the GOP.
Our guess is that with that kind of attitude, nasty Nancy may find herself on Santa’s naughty list.
At least 10 different companies responded favorably to the tax bill within hours of the vote. Some will raise wages. Others are offering non-management employees bonuses of $1,000 each. Still others have promised to hire scores of new workers.
The dastardly Dems were particularly perturbed by the notion of school vouchers, which were included in the bill.
Why do these stupid, inept, poor people not understand that the government is better equipped to raise their children than they are? Can’t those Neanderthals just shut up and vote blue like decent subservient citizens?
Ring any historical bells?
What they hated most was that this new bill eliminates the government mandate to purchase health insurance in order to subsidize older and sicker people.
That’s not fair!
Share! Share! Share!
Of course, the folks in charge don’t share but you should.
It gets better.
The FBI and the Justice Department have been up to their eye balls in dirty dealings. McCabe sat for 8 hrs of interrogation in congressional hearings last night. One can reasonably suspect that they didn’t keep him so long because he’s such a charmer.
That little tootsie is probably about to find his derrière meeting with the outside end of the FBI exit door.
Really? Super-secret, special gatherings with notorious Trump haters, in which they present plots to keep him out of office?
How about that little $700,000 nest egg provided by Clinton clansman Terry McAuliffe? Sure, it went to his wife’s failed campaign but in Virginia, the candidate can spend the left-over cash on personal desires.
The FBI and the DOJ are still hiding paperwork and witnesses. Congress and the public would like to know exactly what the secrets are.
Did they help fund the dirty dossier?
Did they use its unsubstantiated contents to procure a FISA warrant to spy on the Trump team?
How is it not collusion when Hillary and friends pay an English former spy to hire Russian spies to dig up dirt on Trump?
Isn’t that exactly what the sort of behavior that they are accusing him of, hence the investigation?
Well, it’s not American to go after fallen political adversaries. Only banana republics engage in that sort of thing. Right?
It would be so unseemly to try to prosecute Hillary. The poor thing is a retired grandma. Have some decency.
Oh, but wait a minute. Guess who’s just launched an investigation into Jill Stein and her supposed ties to Russia.
Here’s our very favorite holiday surprise.
It seems as though the Obama administration was snuggling in front of the Yule log with none other than Hezbollah. They needed a little lube to get that fabulous Iran deal done and in exchange for the billions of dollars worth of cocaine that the terrorist group got a wink and a nod to sell on U.S. soil, Hezbollah offered up a pocket or two of deal doing Vaseline.
Fun for everyone.
They also laundered plenty of dirty money but who’s looking?
Not our authorities. Apparently, they were told to stand down.
Just for the record, Hezbollah is a delightful band of merry men of the jihadist persuasion who enjoy bombing school buses filled with children.
As usual, in the interest of brevity, we’ve only provided the highlights.
You might not be surprised to know that we would not be sad if Santa scooted down a few people’s chimneys with subpoenas though.
Ho ho ho. Away they’ll go.
Oops, we meant Merry Christmas.