Last week’s news cycle offered up some first-rate insanity. If you aren’t on top of your game the office prankster could easily dupe you into making some regrettable political commentary.
Ordinarily, you’d be able to fly by the seat of your pants. We’d love to say that there were a couple of issues of substance that you could weigh in on with relative impunity. We’d be lying though.
Lines have been drawn.
Repeal and replace or Obamacare
This one is the gimme. It does fall under the confines of know your audience though.
Super liberal crowd of young hippie types- either say nothing (probably your best bet) or you can prattle off solicitous platitudes like ‘My God, when will these people understand that healthcare is a right?’
If you choose to go down that particular path, and God bless you if you do, be prepared because you’ve got to go all in.
Get ready to dramatically shake your head with outrage when the open office republican comes out and says, ” um, wait a second. Healthcare isn’t an entitlement. It’s a benefit that’s accrued as part of job compensation.”
“I work hard to pay for my family’s healthcare”
He is a jack ass. Steer clear.
Should the subject of the vote on the Graham- Cassidy bill come up, you have a couple of options.
The bill is the latest GOP effort at repeal and replace.
McCain is a no vote, so it’s probably dead in the water but just in case…
Old school republicans are somewhat divided. Is he the maverick who’s saving the nation from a bad unilateral bill? Or, is he a self-serving douche, just trying to stick it to Trump?
Either roll with a noncommittal grunt and walk away or go with, “God bless that man” and move on.
You should be safe either way.
Neutrality is your best bet.
There are no winners in this fight.
Laurence O’Donnell and his unfortunate hot mic hissy fit.
This is some quality viewing.
We take no shame in admitting that this is a personal fave.
If you know nothing about current affairs, watch this hilarious episode of an uptight D.C. swamp monster losing his… let’s go with bowels and be prepared with a snide remark or two. You’re golden.
The UN drama
This one was actually pretty amusing. If you’re of a more neurotic nature, this story might upset you but you should know that neuroses are largely based on irrational fear.
In other words, suck it up buttercup. When you know the facts, you have less reason to be afraid.
Kim Jong Un has been making a habit of flexing his muscles like Popeye after a can of spinach recently. It’s annoying and it’s bothersome but in all likelihood, it’s no more worthy of concern than the thought of a meteorite suddenly decimating the planet.
Lil’ Kim is a pain in the patoot. He’s a blowhard with an acute inferiority complex.
The leftist media may not like it but POTUS has his number.
By dubbing him Rocket Man, Trump left Un with a measure of dignity. The president is no stranger to brutally cutting remarks. This wasn’t one of them. He left Un with the ability to save face. For a guy who is perpetually derided as a culturally inept ‘dotard’ , to coin a phrase, Trump exhibited some remarkable psychological skill.
He allowed Un the opportunity to yap back like a tiny overfed chihuahua in order to satisfy his need to be heard and in all honestly, Lil Kim did well.
While he remained at home, one of his more proficient henchmen served up a SNL worthy response.
They marched onto the UN floor and called president Trump the lie’n king, The commander in grief, and President evil …
Each one of which, was a solid comeback, except for the fact that there is no way on God’s green earth that someone who wasn’t intimately familiar with American culture just whipped a single one of those tit for tat Trump zingers out.
Lil Kim has a ghost writer for his digs. That’s all that Trump needed to know.
Our president feeds on weakness. (just as an aside, what do ya wanna bet that mother’s little helper was an Obama hire?) Admire it or don’t.
Like it or not.
Kim Jong Un has been effectively neutralized.
China got on board with banking sanctions and North Korea has no upside to causing any trouble.
Lil Kim may be somewhat erratic and bombastic but he’s not self-destructive. He loves his luxuries and he’s a spoiled little blossom. As peculiar as this situation may seem, the odds are that Trump has tamed the shrew.
Last but not least…
Taking a knee or as we’d prefer to think of it… the one that takes the cake.
Colin Kaepernick has been pulling that nonsense for over a year.
It’s rude. It’s insulting and it’s offensive.
What it most certainly is not is some brave brown skinned soldier’s plight to be heard.
Let’s just cut the crap, shall we?
CK is precious and he’s pretty but he’s no longer athletically viable. When he was good, he was great but those days are done.
While plenty of us would like to dismiss Kaepernick as a misguided believer, unwittingly caught up in the fight for right. More savvy business folks know better.
After a series of surgeries, the golden boy of the NFL, was no longer quite so golden.
The thumb was done.
The knee had endured a visit from the scalpel and the throwing shoulder had enjoyed a surgical enhancement as well.
As an extra surprise, apparently as a consequence of his later surgeries, it was inadvertently discovered that the boy wonder also had a titanium rod inserted into his lower left leg in order to hold his stuffing together again.
Guess Colin was going with the don’t ask don’t tell policy. Too bad that plan tends to irritate team owners.
Not surprisingly the 49ers benched their broken toy. Sadly, confused Colin misunderstood his value.
You see boys and girls, the world of professional sports is a difficult one.
As long as you can perform, you are a star. Endure one significant injury and you’ll be lucky to eek out a cozy spot at the glue factory. Smart athletes know that. They save. They invest and they cultivate endorsements.
In order to maintain those lucrative endorsement contracts, they behave like admirable citizens.
Cocky Colin neglected to plan ahead. His career was essentially over. The rumor was that he was engaged in negotiations for some sort of tawdry reality TV career.
Then the precious prince had an epiphany.
He would take on the establishment that would dare to deny him his due.
By hook or by crook CK was going to be a star.
To his credit, the shattered athlete found a long-standing wound in the American psyche in which to borough and enrich his salty soul.
He wasn’t getting paid to run or even stand anymore so Special K took a knee.
What a hero.
The adorable young man who was so fair of skin that we had always assumed him to be Italian had decided to play the race card.
So very Democratic.
Initially, we were confused. Had he lost a black friend to unwarranted police brutality?
Why was this Italian American fellow taking a knee during the national anthem and leading us to believe that there was a racial component to his protest?
Suddenly, an enormous Afro emerged from his skull (truth be told, it may not have been all that sudden but we don’t really tune into sporting events with any frequency), at which point we thought, perhaps this handsome character is the product of a biracial marriage.
Yet in all honesty, even that seemed strange.
If someone grew up with one white parent and one black parent, how could they harbor such cultural animosity?
See Barack Obama.
Too soon? Oops.
At that point, we became curious. He had become a subject of controversy within political circles.
Was it an alarming offense that he refused to stand for the national anthem or was it an intriguing expression of black culturalism.
His silent protests went on week after week. Then they became productive.
Bench warming Colin was a star.
When his contract was ready for review last month, he was let go. The guy can’t perform the way he did before. That should be obvious.
Kaepernick wasn’t having it.
He threw a fit. He wanted full pay and real play.
Sorry sunshine. Injured players no longer matter.
Then he began to give one interview after another about racial injustice.
It was an awfully bold move for a kid who grew up in an affluent white suburb in a white family but okay, we don’t judge.
He even had the nerve to get Spike Lee on board for the cause.
Maybe it was a growth spurt. Maybe it was an act of rebellion.
What it sure as shooting wasn’t was a cry for compassion from an oppressed black youth.
Nor was it some glorious gift of celebrity empathy in effort to raise up a beleaguered community.
None of that mattered at all to politicians seeking to capitalize on racial division or anti Trump sentiment.
This weekend president Trump had had enough.
He encouraged team owners to fire any player who feels too encroached upon to stand for the star-spangled banner.
The men and women who have fought and sacrificed for this country are and have been grievously offended by a collection of egregiously overpaid athletic entertainers with a disproportionate number of violent criminal offenses, including but not limited to child abuse, spousal abuse, rape, assault, assault with a deadly weapon and although this may not be the legal term, brandishing and shooting a gun in a nightclub, which seems to be a thing, making some kind of grandiose statement of kneeling during the national anthem.
Can they do it?
Is that their right?
Well, until their employers grow a spine and fire them, guess so.
What you disgraceful, overly indulged, short term, celebrities better realize is that the very instant your entertainment value expires, so does your clout and your cash flow.
Get used to kneeling now kiddies. It’s good prep for your future.
God bless those patriots who buck the trend.
Alejandro Villanueva of the Steelers, we salute you.
3 tours as an army ranger in Afghanistan and now a pro football player?
He came out onto the field despite the admonitions of his coach.
That, my friends is an American that we can all proud of.