Moore Funny Business

roy moore

This week has been action packed. There’s been one sordid fiasco after another.

We find this sort of thing highly entertaining but the faint of heart should proceed with caution.


Alabama’s Roy Moore

He’s a charmer. Several more ladies have now gone on the record to accuse him of sexual improprieties.

His lawyers have demanded to have the high school year book that he allegedly inscribed for one of his unwelcoming, young subjects of interest.

We’ll all have to wait and see what happens. The timing is mighty suspicious but so are his responses.

Here’s where things get interesting.

Mitch McConnell has never been a fan of Moore’s. He wanted Luther Strange to remain in office. Senator McConnell was notably peeved when Moore won the primary. Days later nearly 40 year old accusations started falling out of the trees like nuts. Too saucy? Unlike Judge Moore we apologize.

The president has made himself perfectly clear. He does not plan to interfere with the choices of Alabama’s voters. The senate apparently prefers a more hands on approach. Oops, we did it again. This time we’re blaming Brittany Spears.

They’ve asked the governor to postpone the special election. She was not on board.

They’ve suggested Luther Strange as a write in candidate. Then they realize that would only split the gop vote.

Then those funny little onions came up with two more truly twisted plans.

Jeff Sessions is driving them all crazy. Hillary must have a real humdinger on him in her blackmail bin.

He’s been refusing to provide documentation requested about her various tawdry dealings that have been determined to be subject to the freedom of information act. He also rather belligerently refused to appoint a special counsel to investigate her dirty deeds when pressed in this week’s hearings on the hill.

Here’s what those clever kitties came up with. They want Sessions to resign as Attorney General and run for his old senate seat against Moore. He’d be popular enough to win and they could bounce his bottom right out of the DOJ.

As they like to say in DC, winner, winner, chicken dinner, curtesy of tax payer dollars. The fly in the ointment is that Sessions didn’t feel like giving up his cabinet position.

Which brings us to…

McConnell supposedly asked Luther Strange to resign immediately, thereby triggering a whole new election. Sneaky.

Too bad it doesn’t work like that. This is already a special election designed to fill the seat vacated by Sessions. Strange was simply a place holder. If he resigns, dies or suddenly falls prey to some unknown ailment of the unnaturally tall, it does not matter. The show will go on.

Mitch does have one more card up his sleeve. He’s threatening to refuse to seat Moore if he wins. Essentially, that means that the sitting senators will declare him unfit to join their party and send him back to Alabama. That would be known as election nullification. You can bet your shoo fly pie that Alabama voters would not take kindly to that.

As of now, the race is tight. They vote in a month. We can’t wait to see how this one turns out.

Hillary threw a hissy and the good Lord knows we love that.

She finds the subject of investigating her to be distasteful. That would be an abuse of power. No joke. She actually said that. Does that woman think before she speaks?

NJ senator Menedez skated out of court today with a mistrial.

We smell the sweet stink of hanky panky.

Now that they’ve elected a democrat as the new governor, if they have to retry him, it won’t be Christy who fills his seat if he’s found guilty. Instead, that guy Murphy who thought he was performing in Riverdance last Tuesday night will have that responsibility. Great!

We’ve saved the best for last. The senate’s very own Sanctimonious Sally, aka Al Franken has been busted (okay, that’s the last time. It must be naughty night)

He was pictured groping a sleeping woman’s breasts. She also claims that he forcibly kissed her. Later, a second woman made similar claims. Schumer is demanding an ethics hearing. That’s code for, a crowd-pleasing load of nothing. The hearing takes place in secrecy and then ends up in the biosphere, never to be spoken of again. That’ll sure show him a lesson.

Be grateful for the fact that the house passed their tax reform bill today. Maybe these clowns will be less inclined to conclude their quiet inquiries into congressional sexual misconduct with our tax money. To date they’ve paid out $15 million to accusers.

And there you have it. We must be off to shower away the film of filth left upon us by the antics of this distasteful cast of characters.

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The Scamper

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