Politics

The Sunday Scoop with A Surprise

Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch

We’ll keep this one short and sweet because it’s such a treat.

Each time we approach an election year, all of the swampland creatures slither about the nation in search of funding.

They always start their sordid quest in communities famed for the most conspicuous consumption.

In other words, they follow the money.

You may have noticed the recent exhaustive use of that expression. While it’s been used in reference to various investigations, it actually serves a dual purpose.

Any inhabitant of the swamp with a scintilla of ambition knows that they need to chase that cash.  ‘‘Tis the season to make it rain.

Follow the money is a mantra.

Well my precious cherubs, money doesn’t grow on trees. If you want to ‘make it rain’ you need to shake your…tail feathers.

You may have noticed that some of the Capital Hill critters have been making themselves ever present on the media circuit as of late. Anytime you see a politician pulling the razzle dazzle tv news talks on an oddly frequent basis, seemingly out of the blue, rest assured they are about to campaign for a higher position.

Here’s how it begins.

After the continuous and frankly off putting, transparent social climbing efforts that these creatures embark upon as soon as the swamp bug bites, they figure out who’s willing to pony up the dough. The smart ones learn how to woo the cash cows .

Some donors want pictures. Others just want bragging rights. To get up close and personal with any serious contender for a prominent political post will cost you a minimum of about $25,000 per person for an event that lasts maybe 90 minutes. You had better believe that these clowns need to have something more to offer than the standard rally speech at such high value intimate events.

Given that discretion is the better part of valor, that will conclude any further discussion as to our sourcing.

That having been said, secrets were spilled.

You can count on some upcoming hearings on the hill.

Rod Rosenstein may very well not come out smelling like a peach. He has developed a rather dubious reputation as of late. Rumor has it that he’s not quite the nerdy apolitical worker bee that he would purport to be.

We shall see once he’s subjected to the hot lights of congressional interrogation.

Keep in mind, guys like Trey Gowdy have had just about enough of this Mueller investigation. If it turns out that this was truly a partisan hatchet job, look out.

Weissmann will be placing his derrière on the hot seat too. That should be quite entertaining. As we’ve explained before, he’s a dirty bird. Hidden exculpatory evidence, several overturned convictions… tsk tsk tsk. Someone doesn’t like to play by the rules. That may not sit so well with the judicial committee checking into what now appears to be a case of malicious prosecution with the goal of impeaching the duly elected president by the opposing party.

And now… the moment you’ve been waiting for… The Sunday Surprise.

Remember that troublesome tarmac encounter between Bill and Loretta?

Don’t worry if you don’t because apparently it’s on tape.

Oh yessiree, my friends.

There’s a tape and the truth hasn’t been told.

Ever heard the expression quid pro quo? Bill and Loretta have.

Members of congress have heard the tape and they are about to release it. They are fed up with the policy impeding Russian investigation, chock full of Clinton loyalists.

Resist, insist, enlist. Do whatever it is that you people think might change last year’s election results.

While you’re doing that though, practice biting on your fist because prison is about to serve up some after hour, cell time perks that may require distraction.

Now that’s what we call a Sunday special.

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The Scamper

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