Politics

Sweet & Sour

Al Franken

The Delicious DC Week’s End Dish

This week wrapped up with some saucy stories.

You may need a napkin.

On Wednesday the Democrats hatched another one of their Loonie Tunes styled Wile E. Coyote schemes.

They must have had a clandestine group gathering during the lunch hour because just after noon, they were tripping over themselves to demand Al Franken’s resignation.

As of Tuesday, they were all feeling quite pleased with the idea of sending his probing parts to the coffee klatch, known as the ethics committee.

Obviously, they had then lost their favorite place on the moral high ground and with the Alabama race tightening up, they were looking for an edge. They want that seat so badly that they were happy to  sacrifice one of their own.

By the end of the day on Wednesday, 30 Democratic Senators were demanding his immediate departure.

Arrogant Al, took to the senate floor on Thursday to announce his forced resignation.

It’s worthy of note that when people are forced to resign in disgrace, they usually slink away quietly.

Not Mr. Fun Fingers.

There was no apology. The women who were offended must have misremembered or they were just lying.

He is a noted champion of women. We know that because he told us so…repeatedly.

So, have pictures suddenly started to lie?

Groping a woman as she sleeps on a military plane, where she should feel absolutely safe, became fun filled, mutually agreed upon frivolity at exactly what point?

He was bitter and enraged. It should also be noted that Senior Sensuality has a reputation for throwing staplers at subordinates who displease him. Apparently, he is under the impression that he’s extra special. The latest complaint came from a woman who claims that when she rejected his effort to probe her mouth with his wandering tongue, he said, “ It’s my right as an entertainer”

Who knew? Beg your pardon m’ lord.

Soon to be former Senator Franken delivered a blistering 20 minute speech on Thursday. He referred to the president as a man who admits to sexual assault and then went on to gripe about the man running for senate who abuses young girls.

He quipped that the irony of his departure wasn’t lost on him.

What a bitter little pill.

The ladies with whom he’s had his unwelcome encounters refer to this small man as The Angry Inch.

( ok, we can’t be sure of that, but we like the moniker) Here’s where it gets too saccharine even for diabetics.

By Friday morning, democrats on every news station with the ability to broadcast, were wringing their hands because they had done Al wrong.

Mika, our favorite vibrating vixen from Morning Joe actually said that she wonders if all women really need to be believed.

Vegas odds are that she’s happy to believe women who accuse those soulless republicans.

It could be that women with pictures of themselves being fondled as they sleep, photo shopped those images.

That Mika’s as sharp as a tack, isn’t she ?

Somehow, this became an ideal situation in which to portray the aggressor as the victim.

Mika wasn’t alone though.

Let’s just remember that Frolicking Fingers Franken has made no commitment to leaving Office any time soon.

If Roy Moore wins on Tuesday, you can count on Happy Hands to fight to keep his seat. Franken isn’t going down without a fight.

Nor are the democrats.

Mysterious money had been flowing into Alabama like flood water after a storm.

Evan McMullin, that shady character who tried to jump into the presidential race at the last minute as a spoiler, has raised over 4 million dollars for democrat Doug Jones. McMullin, mind you ran as a republican.

Jones has received over $10 million in campaign donations from unnamed democratic resources.

Groups like Highway 31 are providing financing for Jones on credit to avoid laws that would require any information about the identity of the donors.

Very shady Lady and by Lady you can imagine who we suspect to be involved.

Former democratic congressman Harold Ford Jr. was ousted from Morgan Stanley today and suspended from MSNBC, following allegations of sexual harassment.

We’ve spent time with Handsy Harold in the past and this comes as no great surprise.

He’s suing.

If he wins, he’ll get his spot on MSNBC back and he’ll receive what will undoubtedly be an enormous pay out from Morgan Stanley.

Let’s see if the judge thinks that you need to believe the woman.

Republican Representative Trent Franks resigned today.

While dealing with fertility issues that mandated the need for a surrogate, he apparently asked 2 of his interns if they would be interested in lending a helping uterus.

At first we found this to be a selfish and cruel effort to join the #metoo crew. The poor guy and his wife were distraught and wanted a surrogate that they knew and trusted.

Inappropriate? Yes.

Understandable? Yeah

Then some odd details emerged. It seems that Mr. Franks wasn’t looking to go down the clinical path. He offered to inseminate their eggs the old fashioned way. True? Not true?

We don’t know but he skedaddled out of DC like a bat out of Hell.

There are now 2 more dubious characters associated with the Russian probe.

Aaron Zebley who’s known as Mueller’s right hand man, used to be Mueller’s chief of staff at the FBI. He also held a high profile spot at DOJ. More recently though, he represented Hillary Clinton’s IT guy Justin Cooper as his defense council.

Justin is that creative fellow who set up personal servers and bludgeoned blackberries with hammers.

He seems like a fine addition to the Mueller team.

No preexisting bias to worry about with that guy, right?

Then there’s Jeannie Rhee. She’s lovely. She made a wonderful addition to the legal group serving the Clinton Foundation while it was still solvent. For the record that’s code for while Hillary was expected to win.

You’ve got to pay to play Skippy.

Don’t worry. We’re sure that she’s totally unbiased about the Trump case too.

In the interest of brevity, we’ll save the review of the president’s hilarious Pensacola speech for tomorrow. Rest assured, it was great.

About the author

The Scamper

Add Comment

Click here to post a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *