Politics

The Tuesday Trifecta

Donald Trump

The Three Big Stories of the Day

Apparently, three really is company. MSNBC, CNN and Fox News all tried to pull a fast one on Monday night. Not a single one of them aired a legitimate news program during prime time.

It was a collective montage of reruns and inane banter. Not since Chrissy, Janet and Jack shared the Roper’s rental space have we felt so compelled to knock on someone’s door.

They each turned to clips of the summer’s highlights, presumably in prerecorded formats. For some reason, Larry, Curly and Moe thought that would fly.

Typically, the selected segments were spliced together in such a way as to illustrate a particular narrative.

That sort of fluff is standard holiday fare, since the more established news anchors usually take holidays off.

Fair enough.

If they actually were on vacation, this filler folly might have gone unnoticed.

If each of the shows had been entirely prerecorded, we might have understood.

If each network called in a backup team to report the news in the absence of the more senior anchors, we wouldn’t have batted an eye.

One… two… three strikes… and you know who was out?

Our patience.

The named anchors were in and they delivered more meaningless drivel than the Kardashian sisters.

The cast of The Five actually spent the entire 9 o’clock hour answering ridiculous questions about their favorite things.

It’s a political commentary show people, not a sing along with Julie Andrews as Mary Poppins.

Good lord!

Here’s why we were peeved. There were three significant news stories that faded away like the ghostly trio of Casper’s troublesome uncles.

Much like the members of the media, Fatso, Stinkie and Stretch specialize in reality warping.

Fatso

Kim Jong Un

On Saturday night, North Korea tested another missile.

This time it was a thermo- nuclear warhead attached to a mid-range ballistic missile. That’s also known as a hydrogen bomb.

Just for comparative purposes, it’s 5-10 times more powerful than the nuclear bomb that landed in Hiroshima.

Needless to say, the situation is problematic.

UN ambassador, Nikki Haley was quoted saying, ” Kim Jong Un is begging for war” , followed by “enough is enough”

Russia and China, however, are rejecting stronger sanctions.

At this moment, military options seem to be off the table. However, North Korea is expected to launch an intercontinental test missile on Saturday. If they can successfully accomplish that feat, our position may change.

Obviously, we can’t tolerate being blackmailed into compliance by a North Korean threat of nuclear war. That’s not really the biggest concern though. What no one wants to discuss is that while Kim Jong Un is unlikely to be foolish enough to fire the first nuclear weapon, he might be willing to use his device to create a devastating electro-magnetic pulse that could take out the entire U.S. power grid.

Whether or not such a thing is a real possibility remains a bone of contention in scientific circles but it’s absolutely a subject of concern.

It’s even more concerning that the cable news outlets chose to avoid the subject on Monday night.

Stinkie

Hurricane Irma

While the residents of Houston continue to struggle with the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the east coast braces for an enormous hurricane of its own.

We’ve all heard the awful stories of standing water, filled with raw sewage and chemical run off. We’ve witnessed the carnage that Harvey left in its wake.

Americans across the nation remain traumatized by the magnitude of the devastation in Houston and other hard hit areas.

Now Florida may find itself in the direct path of a category 5 hurricane as early as next weekend.

Irma has been barreling across the Caribbean and may be headed straight for South Florida.

At this moment, Irma remains a category 4 storm but it seems to be picking up speed. Governor Rick Scott has already declared a state of emergency.

Residents of Florida are scared. Federal resources are being stretched to capacity in Texas. If Irma does strike Florida, federal funding for disaster relief will become a serious issue as well.

To make matters worse, a third storm named Jose is building right behind Irma.

Obviously, this is an alarming situation.

Here’s the rub. Pompous, prognosticating progressives, all of whom clearly reside outside of any of the danger zones, can’t seem to manage the extraordinary task of restraining themselves from admonishing the rest of the country about global warming.

Rather than expressing their concern or support for the victims of these natural disasters, these creatures prefer to go with their favorite fallback position as the Royal Casters of Consternation.

You might recognize them by their pseudonym, The Perpetually Perturbed.

Their collective finger wagging must be providing them with some sort of hypnotic high. They are consumed with concept of climate change and they are determined to blame skeptics for the ills of the planet.

If you think the stagnant water in Texas stinks, steer clear of this crowd. The best we can hope for them is that their wagging fingers soon become arthritic.

Stretch

The DACA drama

What’s being stretched is the truth.

The president is expected to grant a 6-month extension to the “dreamers”. During that period of time, congress will have the ability to pass an actual law granting effective amnesty to children who have been brought into the country illegally under the age of 16.

The announcement is scheduled to take place on Tuesday at 11 am.

The left and some members of the right are apoplectic.

“This is so mean”

“It’s just cruel”

“It’s inhumane”

“Why punish these innocent children?”

“These kids consider themselves American ”

“They are all such good kids. If they commit any crimes, they are no longer eligible for DACA ”

Lie… lie… lie… with a side helping of gross emotional manipulation based on… you got it… a lie.

First of all, the characterization of DACA recipients as children is at best, largely inaccurate. More likely, it’s intentionally deceitful.

The mean age of “dreamers” is somewhere between 22 and 25. When last we checked the cut off age for children was 18 or did Obama arbitrarily change that law in order to curry favor with specific voting blocs too?

Additionally, they are not automatically expelled from the program for committing any crimes. To the contrary, they enjoy a two-misdemeanor dispensation. Only the third offense jeopardizes their status.

As for the notion that considering yourself to be an American makes it so, if a hooker considers herself to be a virgin, does that make it true?

The very name “dreamers” was deliberately crafted to evoke an emotional response. It suggests an image of sweet, innocent children adorably sleeping, ever so peacefully.

If the plan were so perfect, why the need to wrap it up in a baby blanket?

The expectation that the law be adhered to, equally by everybody is neither mean nor cruel. In fact, a logical conclusion might be that the attempt to override the constitution and mandate legal policy through executive order, knowing that it could never withstand judicial scrutiny was cruel.

If one were to assess the situation rationally, one would be forced to recognize that it is the promise of false hope that is ‘mean’ not the imposition of reality.

In other words, the democrats made a mess and they want to shirk responsibility for their mistakes, so they’re selling this horse waste like a 17 yr old spinster in Saudi Arabia.

Should the president opt to discontinue the DACA program, he punishes no one. Congress will undoubtedly be given an appropriate period of time in which to enact a proper law that resolves the issue.

As the Dems are so fond of saying, here’s where the rubber meets the road.

They couldn’t pass a law on amnesty in any form when they controlled both branches of congress and the White House. Maybe that’s why they’re really so upset.

Accountability has a nasty way of giving them hives. Any democrat who doesn’t bend over backwards to secure the DACA program will be exposed.

If their hearts are really tied to these dreaming cherubs, they should be pretty darn willing to make some compromises.

Just the thought of that provided us with a shiver of delight.

The democrats would rather subject themselves to back to back showings of the Al Gore movies than cooperate with the GOP.

We can only hope for a publicized congressional debate on the matter so we can watch them twitch.

They’ve been playing dirty with this one all weekend.

They avoided mentioning it directly all Monday night. Instead they focused on dialing up racial division.

It was disguised as a summer review but it was more of a detailed accounting of Trump’s perceived racist remarks. It was a diabolical plot. If the argument has no merit, make the guy with the sound legal case look like a monster.

This should be an interesting week ahead.

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The Scamper

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