Politics

Things We’d Like to Tell The DNC

tom perez

Dear Democrats,

This message is long overdue. We are going to do our level best to say these things politely but please know in advance that it won’t be easy.

We would have preferred to specifically addressed our remarks to the person in charge but that desire was met with an insurmountable challenge.

We have no idea who’s running your little blue shop these days. There were a few unpleasant rumors, some time ago, that you guys had given Tom Perez the nod.

Naturally, we dismissed such tales as a distasteful ruse, perpetrated by the GOP. Clearly, a beady eyed, foul mouthed creature with what we can only assume has an unhealthy appetite for amphetamines, could never be chosen as the face for the “party of the people.”

He is constantly hoarse and he sweats profusely.

Only a party that truly loathed its constituents would be under the impression that this guy was the key to connecting with the base. He is unpolished and crude which quite specifically what bothers you about president Trump.

It has occurred to us that Tom’s last name and coffee colored hue might have been a factor in your selection and we have grown increasingly uncomfortable with you folks ever since.

Initially, we were besieged by self-recrimination.

You see, we have always voted as an independent. We have never made assumptions about anyone based on race or ethnicity.

We were unaccustomed to efforts to systematically program us to believe that we were racist. You guys have always saved that poison dart for the most conservative elements within the Republican Party.

Those lines about inbred mongrels, clinging to their guns and their God always struck us as, what you now like to refer to as hate speech.

We never laughed along with you but we never objected either. We feared being ostracized by the social set.

For the record, the social set of the Hamptons, Manhattan, and Palm Beach isn’t generally comprised of anyone you’d consider a prime candidate for the Rapture.

If you swung a dead cat marked, elitist or socioeconomic separatist, you could hit almost anyone in the crowd with impunity but racist, no.

Hillary Clinton was an excruciating candidate. After an evening with a few of her avid supporters, we often returned home to make a bee line to the q tip box and check our ears for either blood or ear drum discharge.

One time we actually asked a friend to whisper numbers into our ears, one at a time to make sure that our hearing remained intact.

She was shrill and nasty, both of which are poor traits in a presidential candidate. The fact that you people didn’t cut her loose early on, made us suspicious.

When we understood the depths to which you would sink in order to fulfill that Faustian deal of hers, we were done.

Truth be told, we loved Bill but Obama’s self-righteous superiority was a hard pill to swallow. That woman was simply intolerable.

The Democratic Party has morphed into something unrecognizable.

The open hostility towards heterosexual, Caucasian males was way too weird for words. Then the target group expanded.

In all honesty, we’re good with a little man bashing on occasion but when it’s limited to men of a specific ethnicity, we tend to feel cheated.

Scoundrels come in all colors.

It was when you suddenly started attacking white people as a whole, that we grew angry. Sure, it was gradual but it happened. Worse yet, no one wanted to acknowledge it as a product of an administration led by the first black president.

It was you that played the race card.

It was your treachery that fractured our country along racial lines.

Thanks to your inability to provide the kind of unifying leadership that you demand of Trump, any white person that speaks candidly with us, admits to having become self-conscious about saying anything that could possibly be perceived as racist.

The result of which is that any interracial interactions between strangers have become strained and we’d like you to know that we resent it.

The current DACA debacle is the last straw.

Your constant pandering to anyone of color is nauseating. It’s also exceedingly offensive.

Here’s what you’ve neglected to understand. The vast majority of Americans have a soft spot for children. Maybe if you had marketed DACA differently, there would be no issue.

In choosing to force feed the country a steady diet of identity politics, you gave permission to anyone who ever felt an inkling of bias to accept that in themselves.

White privilege

Black lives matter

Gender neutral bathrooms and locker rooms mandated by the tolerant few who reign and define good and bad for the rest of us.

Any objections to the ever more progressive agenda can only be rationalized by a bigot or a fool.

If you hadn’t ratcheted up all of this hostility and resentment, you could have slipped DACA in again and again for years to come.

Instead, a disproportionate number of American citizens feel compelled to pick a side. Then they demonize each other.

Both sides have merit and each side can deliver a compelling case based on carefully selected case studies. It’s a shame that those kinds of debates can’t happen anymore.

Would you like to know why?

Because all of that accusatory talk of entitlement backfired on you.

These ” dreamers” and yes, the name continues to vex us, have displayed more moxie and entitlement than Scheherazade on night 999. (If you missed the reference, check out 1001 Nights. It’s priceless) Not ten minutes after the announcement granting them a six-month extension and the promise of congressional efforts to create a law which would allow them to stay, hundreds of thousands of disruptive DACA recipients and their supporters took to the streets. Apparently, they wanted to let the president and his republican supporters know that they had no intention of leaving.

If they feel like Americans, they should be treated like Americans. Try that nonsense in another country. You’ll be feeling like a prisoner in no time flat.

There were numerous arrests and a whole lot of belligerent chants. Any empathy that we had for dreamers was instantly and drastically diminished.

We were grievously offended and totally appalled.

It took a moment to digest.

Through no fault of their own, dreamers have come to believe that they are members of a specially selected group of citizens with extra clout.

As the media continuously categorized them as scared and worried, they beat their chests and offered the president and his supporters the finger as if to say, “Suck it.”

You people encouraged this.

You allowed it and you rewarded it.

Now you have the unmitigated nerve to try to pull the holier than thou routine.

The mistake that you’ve made is this. You assumed that we would hate the immigrants. We don’t.

We are coming perilously close to hating you though.

You democrats had better clean up your act and offer something other than this infuriating resistance nonsense.

We’ve gone from independent to partisan and it’s not because the republicans wooed us. It’s because you repulse us.

You must be so proud.

PS – As richly amusing as it is that Hillary is now blaming Bernie for her epic loss, you might want to put the kibosh on that sort of talk. It only reminds us that you guys rigged the primary.

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The Scamper

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