Toilet Talk

This One’s for the Fellows

performance pills are not always good

There has been an irritating problem coming up a lot recently and you guys are going to have to knock it off or knock it out on your own.

Far too many of our lady friends have the same issue, as of late, for us to believe that it’s a mere coincidence. Somehow, many of you men have gotten the erroneous impression that performance pills are just a grand idea. They aren’t!!! If you have an actual medical condition that prohibits a full rise to glory, by all means pop in a little blue helper. But, and this is important boys, if you don’t need it don’t do it.

Here’s why. Sure, we’ve all heard the withering tales of the three pump chump. Nobody wants to be that guy. He’s not a good time, fair enough. We also understand that if you’ve asked your friends to wait while you “handle your business” you’re not only a jackass but that you can’t appear in a couple of minutes with sweat on your brow and a smirk on your face. It’s even possible that we’ve brought this on ourselves with excessive theatrics designed to encourage you after we’ve felt the moment of joy. No matter how this has come to a head, the simple fact is that 45 minutes is waaay too long. Ladies are getting sore. And not just physically. Our delicate delights were not intended to tolerate that kind of prolonged pounding. It is painful. It is stressful.(do you really think we have nothing else to do in a day?)and it is aggravating. We think that you know that this isn’t a gift for us. Generosity is not a factor in your decision to”go all night”. After a while, we either feel that we have failed to get the job done, as if we need that pressure, or more likely we are just pissed. Perhaps the girls got it wrong, but we do get together to compare notes, and we have reached the conclusion that this is a dick move. You know what ladies love less than a guy who’s quick? A guy who’s mishandling the merchandise.

Don’t take this the wrong way boys. We all love our quality time and we love having it with you. There may even be the occasional situation when we feed you the pill ourselves and beg you to bring it on. However, until that day comes, lay off the enhancers.

We hope that you’ve enjoyed this educational memo
Signed sweetly,
The entire female population (and bottoms)

About the author

The Scamper

Add Comment

Click here to post a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *