Politics

Touring the Swamp With A Flashlight

the scamper

Welcome to the dark and murky area of the political playground known as the swamp

The inhabitants have been feeling rather emboldened by a recent spate of natural disasters, as of late.

They have a well-established inclination to prefer the most shady areas available, which can prove frustrating under normal conditions. Once provided with the cover of distraction, however, these slimy creatures foolishly tend to believe that they can brazenly leave their mucilaginous trails completely unbeknownst to us.

Please keep in mind that the primary objective of all swamp creatures is to repopulate the area with their own kind.

They can be tricky and elusive but most importantly, they can be vicious when backed into a tight space.

Given the hazards associated with prolonged exposure to any of the toxic emissions of the environment, we will be forced to take a brief glance at each of the various mischievous enterprises currently underway.

The Immigration Situation

This as you may notice has taken a very unpleasant turn. While the creatures work in the shadows to grow their numbers, they’ve recently posted some frightening road blocks for anyone with any questions about the desired changes.

Keith Ellison who is the deputy chair of the DNC, informed his constituents on Monday, that immigration will soon become a moral test.

Either you will choose to openly and graciously provide sanctuary to all those who would seek it or you are essentially declaring your alignment with the ideology of Nazi Germany.

Agree to fight border control or be identified as a white supremacist and subjected to judgement.

Nancy Pelosi was a bit more subtle. She simply praised the “great thing” that illegal immigrants had done for our country by sneaking across the border with emotionally engaging children.

More likely, what she specifically meant was the great thing that they had done for the Democratic Party by providing the makings of a sympathetic campaign platform.

Gracias.

Beware of Cabinet Klan Members

We could almost enjoy the absurdly preposterous nature of these idiotic claims but the Dems are selling these slanderous stories like used cars.

We understand.

When in doubt about how to defeat the GOP, scream the word racism from the rooftops. Nothing new to see here.

Oh, but there is.

Only recently has referring to the president of the United States of America as a white supremacist surrounded by Klansmen become a reasonable talking point in polite society.

You can tweet it out as a high profile network personality with impunity.

You can howl about it, feverishly as a black congresswoman. Ordinarily, congressional members are expected to conduct themselves in such a way as to not encourage civil war but Maxine Waters has apparently started a new trend.

It’s been repeatedly explained that what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. Since Trump as a private citizen and candidate disparaged the first black president, democratic law makers are now justified in encouraging the belief that we are a stone’s throw away from becoming Nazi Germany.

Danke schon.

The Corruption of Children

Last week an 11 yr old, 6th grade child in Detroit refused to stand for the pledge of allegiance in class.

He was helped to his feet by his teacher.

Apparently, he will be suing because he demands to know why anyone would have the audacity to “snatch him out of his seat”

He further added with remarkable belligerence that had he been asked more politely, he still wouldn’t have stood.

His proud parents bounced their baby boy on their knees for one jaw dropping interview after another.

A charming collection of 8 yr old boys on a school football team, determined with some guidance from the responsible adults in their lives that they too should take a knee during the national anthem.

To the tremendous pride of American parents across the nation, young children on teams all around America are following suit.

Wave hello to the next wave of democratic voters. Aren’t they cute?

Please note that if like us, you are initially perplexed as to why such behavior is being tolerated, it’s thanks to the new interpretation of the first amendment.

Hate speech- not covered

Freedom of speech by prepubescent children- not simple valued but revered.

Grandma Scamper would have just loved that one.

Thank you for teaching us about respect.

The new swamp game that may soon become a family favorite

I spy, then deny

After all of that deep concern expressed by those loving lefties about the president’s mental health following his infamous wiretap tweet, surprise, he was correct.

Even if you choose to concede that wiretapping Paul Manafort’s communications for over 3 yrs with no indictment or legal follow through of any sort, is a reasonable expenditure of tax payer funding, it should seem like a stretch to use that as justification for taking covert glances into the inner workings of the opposition’s campaign. As an aside, the American government isn’t supposed to be using intelligence agencies to spy on US citizens at anytime.

Shockingly, CNN finally broke the story this week. Then they quickly moved on.

Now it would appear that there is much more to be discovered in this sordid episode.

Why did Samantha Powers feel the pressing need to unmask someone new nearly everyday of her last year as ambassador?

How did Susan Rice seem to be so befuddled by the subject of unmasking until she was under oath?

If Barack Obama blew off the crown prince of the UAE, was it jealousy that motivated him to listen into the man’s subsequent meetings with the president elect’s transition team?

Brennen and Clapper would have obviously been aware of all of the unusual and greatly multiplied number of efforts to seek out private communications within the Trump team. They also would have been aware of any FISA warrants.

Were they both suddenly subjected to those mind melting sonic wave weapons used in Cuba?

Did someone spontaneously snatch up every bottle of Prevagen in the greater D.C. area, leaving them both hopelessly absent minded?

What reasonable explanation could there be for them both to seem so terribly mystified about surveillance, unmasking and leaking?

Either they are both a couple of totally incompetent boobs or they were lying.

There had best be some detailed explanations forthcoming about every single one of these questions and more because even 3 day old catfish doesn’t leave a stink like this.

More Nebulous Russian Allegations

The members of the media may dwell on the periphery of the swamp but they are no less disreputable than their sleazy subjects.

As usual, there have been some loose lips providing tawdry little tid bits to the indiscriminate press prats.

Mueller has subpoenaed a copious paperwork bonanza, this week.

Why? Who knows?

Relevance? Who cares?

If it makes the president sound guilty, play it all night long.

You can just consider that one of the sultry sounds of the swamp.

Here’s what you won’t hear.

Mueller interviewed Rod Rosenstein as a witness.

Oh dear. That’s not allowed.

Rosey Posey can’t wear 2 hats.

Is he a witness or a prosecutor?

Given his relationships with Mueller and Comey, might there be a third option?

Maybe coconspirator?

We wouldn’t dream of questioning the integrity of a fellow with such an impressive record for unwavering adherence to the concepts of virtue and honor.

Except there was that tiny little thing about his being super peeved about being outed about that Comey letter. As you may recall, it was the very next day that he appointed his Boy Scout bunky as special council.

For all of those pinky swears about special council secrecy and no forthcoming leaks, it looks like anyone on that particular vessel may want to invest in a life jacket.

We are learning a lot more than we should from at least one swampy big mouthed trout.

Last but not least

Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your eyeballs peeled as we train our flashlight on two of the most elusive moray eels of the bog.

Former president Obama and twice defeated candidate Clinton have been rearing their tiresome tuffets to gripe about all plans republican recently.

This week’s highlight- healthcare.

The details don’t really matter. They’re always subject to change. Any effort to undermine that namesake program will be met with opposition of biblical proportions.

On that nauseating note, we thus conclude this special swampland tour.

Don’t let the creatures frighten you. They are loud and annoying but they have no power unless you give it to them.

Yeah, we’ll take that back. That is frightening.

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The Scamper

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